Kerri BridgmanThere were signs. A lot of them.
Breakouts that wouldn’t go away. Cravings that ran my day, from my first cup of coffee at 7 am to the amount of soda I drank throughout the day. Pushing to work constantly, even when I was supposed to be on vacation. I thought that was normal. I thought that was success. I thought it would lead to more success.
I didn’t know how tense my body really was until I tried to sit for a massage and couldn’t relax long enough to enjoy it. My shoulders were glued to my ears, my leg was constantly shaking. I used to think self care was a waste of time, and that if I just sat on a yoga mat long enough the patience would find me, not understanding asana was just one leg of yoga and that the other legs are arguably more important.
Peace did not find me. Not right away, anyway.
Bringing Buddha around the world with us.
But over time, things started to shift. Not because I forced them to, but because I finally gave myself space to listen.
Now, self care looks different. It looks like pausing long enough to realize that - for the first time in eight years - my skin isn’t breaking out. It looks like recognizing that an hour meditating or moving my body gives me back an hour somewhere else, not spent in panic.
My appetite has changed completely. I crave fruits, smoothies, and water and not because I’m “trying to be healthy,” but because my body is finally speaking clearly. Most processed sugar and fried food make me feel sick now, and while I miss them sometimes I remember how they make me feel later.
None of this happened overnight.
It didn’t happen just because I started traveling, or because I took a course, or found a miracle routine. It came from a thousand little moments of honesty. From crying on the floor, wondering where I went wrong, only to realize - maybe, just maybe - it’s finally starting to go right.
My skin clearing, my energy returning to a normal baseline, dancing in a festival without looking around in fear, finding little moments of peace. I still have what feels like a ways to go but everyday working on what I love makes it easier.